


Sorry for all the things I didn't do

by bearer_of_light



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 23:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11976894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearer_of_light/pseuds/bearer_of_light
Summary: My (short) take on what happens when Adena leaves.





	Sorry for all the things I didn't do

_ ADENA _

_ I’m home. _

 

It was the middle of the night and the message lit up Kat’s room.

Adena was home.

Hours ago Kat stood at the airport and watched her leave.

Hours ago Kat stood at the airport and let her leave alone. 

 

_ I’m sorry. _

 

Kat typed the message and watched it fly onto the screen and off to Adena. It was a stupid thing to send but it was the only thing floating in her head and bugging her heart. 

She was sorry she wasn’t brave enough.

She wanted to go with her, she really did. She wanted to be free and wild and adventurous and live. She wanted to see all the things Adena was excited about showing her. She wanted to be with Adena, to have her within arm’s reach. She wanted Adena to be with her.

But she didn’t. 

Instead she stayed and watched as Adena walked away, she watched her plane take off and she cried. She sat in the same airport lounge where, just hours before, she kissed Adena, held her, watched her laugh and she was crying because everything was too much.

Her heart was heavy and it felt as if someone was standing on her chest forcing her to take deep breaths that had no purpose. Breathing was getting harder and harder and the rush of memories dancing in front of her eyes were killing her.

 

_ ADENA _

_ It’s okay Kat. You did nothing wrong. _

 

It didn’t feel like that. Every fiber of her soul was telling her everything that was wrong about it. 

She wanted but instead she stayed. It was supposed to be the easiest first step she ever took but when she got there and had to take it she couldn’t. 

Everything already played out in her head. She had it all planned. Stepping out of the plane in the foreign land, waiting for Adena and then never letting her go. Life with Adena and all she had to do was take the first step and get on the plane. 

But she couldn’t. She let her go alone to the place that stopped being home long time ago.

Kat hoped Adena would call her. She wanted to hear her voice, she wanted to feel Adena was okay, she wanted to take back time and go with her.

 

_ Are you okay? _

 

Kat wrote and rewrote those three words more than it was necessary before sending the message. Why was the thing she wanted most also the hardest to have?

 

_ ADENA _

_ I am, I’m with my mother. _

_ It’s late there, you should be sleeping. _

 

It was late, extremely late, and she should have been sleeping but she couldn’t. Dreams can be cruel and Kat was afraid of hers.

 

_ I don’t really feel like sleeping. _

 

Not even a minute after she sent that last text her phone started ringing. Adena was calling.

“Hi.”, Kat said holding her breath.

“Hi.”, she heard a soft voice on the other side of the line.

“Hi.”, Kat whispered.

“You already said that.”, Adena chuckled.

“Sorry. How are you?”

“Tired but okay.”, Adena sighed and then added. “You?”

“I should be there with you.” It wasn’t what Adena asked but it was what Kat thought and felt and wanted to tell her, to assure her, to apologize.

“Kat, what you did for me yesterday was more than I ever thought anyone would do. I’m forever grateful to you. And it’s not like I’m gone, I’m just away for a bit. Like when I was in Paris. It can be like then.”

“I should have went to Paris to see you.”

“Kat…”, Adena tried.

“Why did I have to be so stupid. You never should have left for Paris. I never should have made you go in the first place.”

“Kat, you are not and were never stupid. You didn’t make me do anything. We do what we think is best in the moment for whatever reason. There’s no point in thinking about should haves and what ifs.”

“Yeah, but if…”

“No ifs. I never expected anything from you and I would never ever even think to try and make you do something. It’s fine you didn’t go with me, because of me, you would have regretted it the moment you sat on that plane. It’s not the end of the world just because you are there and I’m here. It’s not the end of anything.” Adena paused. “If you don’t want it to be.”, sentence filled with so much and asking so little.

“No.”, Kat almost yelled out. “I don’t want end, of any kind.”

“Then everything will be okay. We will figure it out.”

“Okay.”

“Sleep now.”

“Hmm.”

“For me.”, Adena whispered.

“I thought you would never ask me to do anything.”

Adena laughed somewhere on the other side of the world.

“Just this one thing.”

“Okay.”, Kat smiled.

“Goodnight Kat.”

“Bye Adena.”

Everything was going to be okay, things were going to work itself out, they were going to find a way to get her back in the country, back to Kat. Everything was going to be okay, but just not right then and there..

Five more minutes. Kat was ready to give everything for five more minutes.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any and all mistakes.
> 
> Find me at ordinarklo.tumblr.com


End file.
